How to Eat an Apricot

 Are they ready to eat when they are like this, fresh from the store, young and plump, blushing, and posing for a Cezanne still-life painting?

Or when they are like this, withered and ready to move into the apricot old folk's retirement home?  That's right.....they are ready when they are wrinkled and every child would turn their nose up at them.  In fact that is how I discovered how to eat an apricot.  I am the fruit martyr at my house.  My child will only eat perfect fruit.  If I put a pear which has a slight dent or bruise on it in his lunch box, it comes home completely slimed.  If I present a bowl of cherries or grapes on his lunch plate, he eats around the slightly sub-par ones.  Guess who eats them?  Me, the fruit-martyr.  I always wondered why people ate apricots.  They were dry and tasteless.  But one day I saw the apricots no one else would eat, sitting in the fruit bowl: the decrepit, wrinkly, sad, apricots, and I took a bite.  Apricot heaven!  Juicy!  Luscious!  Sweet!  Rich!!!!!!!!!!  This is how you eat an apricot!  Did you already know that?